I have a love hate relationship with certain aspects of my job. I hate doing local work, but the extra .10 a mile makes up for it. It also gives me the chance to do what I love best, driving two lane roads. I figured I would try my hand at taking video. So come on and take a ride from Hillsboro, OH to I-275.
Really?
•March 4, 2012 • 3 CommentsPeople never cease to amaze me with their dumbassedness. The following is a conversation I had earlier this morning.
Me: *places items on counter* Good morning.
Cashier who is standing 3′ from large window: Good morning. Is it still snowing?
Me: O_o
Cashier: Is something wrong?
Me: You’re standing 3′ from the window & you’re asking me if it’s still snowing? Seriously? It stopped snowing 2 hours ago. (it’s still snowing)
Cashier: *turns around* It is too still snowing. *glares*
Me: My bad, I thought you meant back up in northern Michigan, because I couldn’t fathom why you would ask me something that you could easily see with your own two eyes.
Cashier: You don’t have to be a smartass.
Me: Yes, yes I do. It’s part of my job description.
A country full of people like this, and it’s no wonder we are doomed.
Woe is my spleen.
•February 15, 2012 • 3 CommentsAs some of you know through my many Twitter and Facebook posts last night and today that Maxine has taken ill. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, Maxine is my truck.
Somewhere around Indianapolis the other day my check engine light came on. Which can mean anything from being low on coolant to a blown turbo. After topping off the coolant which was only half a gallon low, generally not enough to make the light come on, I proceeded down the road. Check engine light still blazing. Maxine was still running fine, so I figured it was a sensor gone bad. Stupid computerized engines. About 60 miles from my delivery, she suddenly started to randomly derate the engine. Oh yay. NOT. Still not thinking it’s anything more nefarious than a bad sensor, I plug on to my delivery. In the morning I let dispatch and the shop know of my mechanical issues. They were able to get me a load coming trough the yard so the mechanics could hook up the computer to see what was wrong. While I was dropping my trailer I heard the unmistakeable sound of my turbo whistling, which I hadn’t heard before. FUCK! No quick and easy fix on this one. I never suspected the turbo because I never heard any whistling or saw any copius amounts of white smoke that usually come with a blown turbo.
Of course being under a load and already planned on a customer load for MO & KS and being the only OTR even remotely close enough to do the customer load, the solution was for me to take one of the trucks sitting on the yard. DOUBLE FUCK! The only truck not in use was this new and oh so lovely, Frightliner Cascadia. TRIPLE FUCK!
But Shannon you say, a truck is a truck. Uh…… no it’s not. I know Maxine is only a 387 Pete and not a 379 or even a W900 KW. Compared to this rough riding, not enough power to get out of it’s own way POS, Maxine is a Cadillac. After only a day my poor internal organs have been loosed from their moorings. QUADRUPLE FUCK! They don’t call them freightshakers for nothing.
As they say, the show must go on and freight must be delivered. I shall carry on in true truck driver fashion, bitch and moan until Maxine and I are reunited.
Most excellent news.
•February 15, 2012 • Leave a CommentThis afternoon I received a phone call from Mom letting me know the results of her latest CAT scan. They can no longer see the tumor on her ovary.
WOO HOO!
Once again I would like to thank everyone for all the prayers, candles & dead goats.
Mom Update
•February 12, 2012 • 1 CommentI’m a few days late in posting this, but I wanted to pass on the news.
After mom’s last trip to the doctor, the report is that her cancer numbers are down from over 1000 to 91. YAY! She has had several bouts of dehydration but other than that she has been responding well to chemo.
I want to say thanks for all the prayers, candles & sacrificed goats.
Me – 1 CRST – 0
•February 5, 2012 • 1 CommentA couple of weeks ago I was headed north on I-77 in Va and having a fairly light load, I was making excellent progress. That is until I came upon one of those lovely orange signs informing me that the right lane was closed 2 miles ahead. I was cruising up the hill, pretending I had a large car, then CRST decided to jump into the left lane in front of me for no appearant reason.
Me: CRST is there a reason you felt the the need to jump out in front of me & almost get yourself rear ended in the process?
CRST: If you were paying attention, you would know the right lane is closed up ahead.
Me: Yeah, a mile and a half up the road.
CRST: Well I didn’t want to get stuck in the right lane and not be able to get over.
Me: For once I am going to keep my mouth shut and not say anything mean or hateful or disparaging about your driving ability. Now Jeff over here, is telling me you are a fucking dumbass mother fucker who is too stupid to breathe, let alone drive a truck.
Now most drivers at this point, would just call me a crazy bitch and that would be the end of it.
CRST: Who the fuck is Jeff and why can’t he speak for himself?
Me: Jeff is my co-driver. Normally he would speak for himself, but he has a severe case of laryngitis. You can’t take much stock in what he says because he’s a very, very angry young man and sometimes says things that aren’t very nice.
At this point we have made our way through the short lane closure. Coming back up beside CRST, he gets to “meet” Jeff.
Don't judge me fuckers. You would be angry too if you had short arms and couldn't masturbate.
CRST: Co-driver my ass. Crazy, fucking cunt has a fucking puppet.
I winz. ;)
A new appreciation.
•January 11, 2012 • Leave a CommentMost drivers seem to think that being a dispatcher is easy and seemingly stress free. Ha! Now in some of the larger companies your dispatcher passes on the load info & coordinates the drivers in a way as to confuse the hell out of everyone. While load planners get the various loads. At a smaller company like mine we have one dispatcher & one sales rep who is in charge of coordinating customer freight & obtaining brokered freight to get us back to an area to pick up more customer freight.
Yesterday everyone in the office was out most of the day due to a funeral, which just left one person in dispatch along with a couple kids that are *bus cleaners but were supposed to help answer phones. About 1130 the phones blew up and rather than sit there and listen to it ring, I decided to help out. Once the kids realized I would answer the phone, they stopped. Lovely. So I just decided to pitch in and help. After an hour of fielding calls about buses (of which I don’t have a clue), passing on load info to our other drivers and telling numerous brokers “No we don’t have any trucks in Asscrack, ND”, Vicki deemed me ready to start finding loads. Yay!?!?
Over the next several hours I proceeded to making phone calls and managed to be productive. I even managed to make the boss happy when he realized I have awesome haggling skills with the brokers.
Me: Hey Alex, it’s Shannon with GAT. I’m calling about load XYZ.
Alex: I didn’t think that load had been booked with you guys.
Me: It hasn’t. Yet. I’m playing dispatcher today.
Alex: A woman of many talents I see.
Me: Shhhhh. Don’t tell my boss. So about this load?
Alex: $2750.
Me: C’mon. You’re killing me. Can you go $3200?
Alex: You want my children to be cold and hungry? I can do $2900.
Me: You’re kids are old enough to fend for themselves. How about $3100?
Alex: They are only 13 & 10. $2925.
Me: They should have jobs and be paying rent by now. $3000.
Alex: Now there’s an idea. $2950.
Me: Sold to the lady in the red dress.
Alex: You’re wearing a dress?
Me: Yeah right.
Alex: I think you may have missed your calling.
Me: That’s ok. I’ll stick to hauling freight instead of haggling for it.
(Alex is one of the more awesome brokers we deal with. I’ve hauled quite a few loads for him since I’ve come to work here.)
I actually booked 5 loads. YAY!! With an average of $2.45 a mile. Double YAY!! Even the other drivers thought I did a good job. I even managed not call one of the a fucking idiot, although there are several of them. Granted, I really, really, really wanted to a couple of times. 
So after a day in dispatch I now have a better understanding of the aggrevation that my dispatcher goes through on a daily basis and a greater appreciation of the awesome job she does. Will I be making a career change to dispatch any time soon? Not in a million fucking years, or at least as long as the state of Ohio continues to let me hold a CDL.
